I wonder when the moment will strike that I will have a sentiment worth conveying. It seems my mentality has gone into autopilot.
All beliefs, logical premises, and pursuits have compacted into abstracts or widdled into narrow tangents. A glacier cracked, whose pieces grow stranded and slowly decaying into the ocean caused by their desolation.
Memories randomly floating around, reaching a conscious surface only to sink again into oblivion. In this soup they avoid bonding into organic compounds, and so they never evolve.
The simultaneous experiences of subjects, privy to witnessing external events on global proportions, but never as a collective. I collects some pieces of their experiences here and there, and become a distorted frame of a select sampling of subjects, a lone processor of their residue.
Right now the sky is red. I just took a sip of water. Music is playing, and my thoughts drift and sway, as they desperately attempt to prevent the decay.
In case anyone caught that, yep I deleted them.
Okay, well I need to re-model my tumblr page to somehow fit the ideals I currently uphold. This will take some assorting and consideration of what sorts of expressive output I shall filter through this medium. For now you remain updated on potential developments.
She traveled on a rose bush raft, surfing through the clouds as petals fell towards the earth in a wind-pressure frenzy.
Reaching the satellite arena, she picked a rose and smelled it, then released it into orbit, laughing as she further escalated into deep space, watching earth become an ever decreasing ball of blue, green and white.
“Water, plants, clouds, how you dominate my planet. You are all that can be known from here.”
All the while roses fell from her raft, making her the flower girl of space. Wedded to the expanding scope of the Universe, showering them with the gift created through the evolution of a small point in space time.
Slowly the entire raft fell apart, bit by bit, through the forces of gravity. But she had hardly noticed until it no longer supported her.
“Oh well, I didn’t really need you anyway,” she smiled, “but I hope you enjoyed your journey with me, and everything else.”
She stretched her arms and legs, no longer able to steer herself, so she simply watched. Planets going around the sun, becoming closer and closer. Earth increasingly feeling the heat of the brilliantly radiating formation of burning hydrogen.
But the life of this celestial neighborhood was running thin. The sun, in sheer desperation, began burning carbon, an oxygen, neon and more, until it finally collapsed and burst. This reaction upset the aggregations of matter which had once been captivated by this central body. The planets, including dear mother Earth disintegrated into new little formations of matter.
And from her view, she watched, tears streaming, and exclaimed, “encore!”
you know what to say under every context,
in the way you’ve been trained,
executing your sentiments in haphazardly casual manners.
and then whoosh!
the next moment occurs and you experience selective amnesia,
incapable of connecting one thought to the next,
you travel onward,
fully satisfied by your scrambling effort
to uphold your self as is,
and never change.
but the self you uphold make claims of an identity you do not possess.
or maybe you’re incapable of making connections,
or maybe you don’t try.
so that you can be whatever the fuck you want to be,
whenever the fuck you feel like it.
how wonderful you’ve managed to fool yourself,
but you haven’t fooled me.
When you have a society of people who execute false niceties, condescending tonalities, and self-serving behaviors; being a human absent of these qualities proves difficult when attempting to be one who engages and thus responds to these types of prevailing people. For, if you consider the nature of responding, you will realize this is based upon the others’ feedback. Adaptation is adjusting one’s self to the contextual conditions; so how does one appropriately respond the egotistical mentality if not through reciprocation? When one offends you, the natural response is to defend yourself. Defending one’s self often becomes an emotional position when the other continues to offend you. The fact that defending one’s self is required further validates the ego-divided construct of humans within their society. Thus self-defense supports opposition, but so long as there are people who assert offensive positions, defense is a necessity. Personally, I am very upset that I must support the ego divided construct because by doing so I am degrading the quality of society and degrading quality of myself.
*by the way, I am NOT arguing against disagreements, but merely the involvement of the ego within these disagreements.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.” — Carl Jung (via delicatelybruised)
People who take themselves too seriously consider themselves more intelligent than they truly are; and as a result tend to neglect challenging themselves, and challenging one’s self is an essential pillar in the development of intellectualism.
——
Ego is designed as a measure of protection of one’s social status. Once a person, utilizing numerous tactics manages a position in the social hierarchy, they then install numerous defense tactics to protect their position and further advance it. These defense tactics root from the ego, a tool that competes with others for the sake of maintaining self worth. Considering the nature in which this self worth is maintained, it can be concluded that one values self worth more than they value self development, for if they cared for that they wouldn’t create a mechanism which blocks the criticisms of others. It is self development which generates self worth, therefore degrading themselves despite their goal. How ironically distorted your behavior is you egotistical fucks.
Edit: Let it be known that I am operating under a certain definition of ego. One that is used more often in culture as opposed to psychology, which sees the ego the self, which is entirely boring because there’s already a word for that. I would prefer the term meta ego, where the self goes beyond what they truly are. And even under this term, the meta ego, I am only identifying one of the symptoms. Mmm, or maybe I am just thinking of defense mechanisms IE the shell. The outer ego, perhaps? Ah, yes, that works.
I apologize for leading you on a twisting trail, dear reader, that is the nature of my mind. Though, editing is like polishing in which the public can best understand, however it displays less of the mind’s inner workings. And while I realize I am doing it yet again, I’ve concluded that letting you observe the natural progression of my mind may be a refreshing demonstration of self expression.
the future of humanity.
just wait as the males who love big booty bitches become the most successful humans to breed.
EVOLUTION FUCK YA.
post edit: dat swelling ;)
I have no sympathy for people that commit suicide. In fact I find it disgusting when people call them heroes or brave or strong. They are weak and they are cowards, they stand for everything I am against. If you do it is the fault of the person that makes the decision to take their life and no one should be blamed but them. They fully understand what they are doing and they shouldn’t be painted as victims, they made the decision and if you cant handle that too fucking bad that is the reality of the situation.
now beyond that, nobody should kill themselves, because once you get to that point you are free. I am envious of you because you can do anything you want to. At the point of suicide you have nothing to lose so you can really do anything, you just need to recognize this and then you become truly free. This is why I have no sympathy, because you have all of the opportunity a person could wish for.
I understand how you feel, but you should try and consider a couple different perspectives to take on the matter. When someone makes a bad decision in life, is it considered their fault? Yes. People are not perfect, they can act irrationally at times based on false presumptions of misrepresentations of reality that can lead to bad decisions. Now consider the decision to commit suicide. In many scenarios, this can be considered a bad decision. A bad decision would be based upon a false sense of their reality and circumstances, that could have been fixed through other choices than that of suicide. It is still their choice, and thus the responsibility for the action is theirs, but why can’t empathy be had for the bad decision that can never be fixed? As much as it is their fault, had they not been so fixated in their deluded state they may have decided otherwise.
Have you never made a bad choice in life that you regretted? Because otherwise I don’t see why you can’t relate, however extreme the circumstance of suicide is.
(By the way, I am not suggesting that suicide is always a bad choice, but in many cases I would claim it is)
In my experience, suicide has been a last, desperate grasp at control, and is exactly the opposite of the portrait you (itsrobhere) have painted.
If I am committing suicide, it’s because I cannot accomplish my dreams, because I am insignificant, because I am biologically reprogrammed by depression or other hormonal factors that take months to change to see no achievable alternatives. I tried, I failed; I’ll try and fail at everything else too, and I don’t have the willpower to do that. Eventually my brain will prevent me from believing it was all my fault, in order to preserve some sense of control, and that leads to a mentality of victimization. After thinking the world is doing this to me for so long, eventually I do the only thing that gives me some control. It’s an alternative to my imaginary learned helplessness, afforded to me by my capacity for self-control.
(As an aside, there are cases of legitimate helplessness, like the Holocaust. I don’t discuss their suicides because in many cases their death at their own hands would be more dignified than death by Nazi.)
Almost always, it’s not as bad as my brain thinks, there are options, etc. But let’s say I DO forfeit myself to this recklessness, this freedom. No self-esteem, no regrets, hell-bent on a mission and I’ll see it through to my death. That is the exact psychological profile of the pilots who hijacked airplanes on 9/11, of the California gunmen who killed six and wounded eleven in 1997, of the Columbine shooters and other school gunmen. When I am desperate, my last thought before leaving the world isn’t to make it a better place, it’s to lash out at the miserable fucks who did this to me. Why would I want to help the world when I’ve come to the conclusion that the world doesn’t want to help me?
By contrast, people who are afflicted by forces out of their control, for instance patients with terminal cancer or birth defects, often command the most inspirational tales of all. Steven Hawking has Lou Gehrig’s, and he’s on the cutting edge of modern science. Louis Braille, born blind, created the linguistic system bearing his name. People who are actually victims are among the most inspirational of us all, whereas people who hide from their failures are the suicidal ones.
I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule. For example, a friend recently mentioned that one study found a suicide rate of 30 times greater than the national average for transgender patients who could not get cosmetic surgery to match their gender. The question of what differentiates these victims (with a similar affliction due to forces out of their control, that is, a body and mind that do not match), although expounded upon at length at present, has a complicated answer. I encourage readers to think about this dichotomy of victimization in particular, and to offer criticisms and improvements to the discussion.
So, recap: People commit suicide because they think they have no control. Occasionally, they’re right, but more often they are trying to escape their own failures. There are no “happy” suicides: suicide stems from depression, misery, and anger. These painful emotional states drive people not to make the world a better place with their death, but to lash out in revenge. Often, people who are victims are inspirational, whereas people who pretend they are victims are suicidal. The question of suicide is complicated, and warrants further discussion.
Can you blame the victim for being irresponsible, immature, etc? Absolutely. Will it change anything? Nope. If you want someone to live life, you have to make them want life in the first place.
How is what you say going against what I’ve said? I have stated that it was the choice they made based upon a false sense of reality. This can be applied directly to what you have said. If one feels as though they have failed, and that the only solution is to kill themself, let us consider how this can be applied to the notion of “making a choice based upon a false sense of reality.” Well, the false sense of reality is that they are at a point of no return, they have failed so bad that there is no other alternate solutions other than suicide. Now let us suppose that the rut they have dug themselves into, or a accumulation of failures leading to depression, have a viable solution other than suicide. Let us suppose that this solution will require both a change in one’s mental and emotional states and behaviors, accompanied by certain actions that demonstrate this changed mental state. This solution may take months to reach recovery, but when contrasted with how many years of life they would have to come, it is a more viable solution than one that would cut off all of these potential good years. To then suppose that their circumstances are so bad that the only viable solution is suicide is delusional, for there are solutions to their problems but their mental state is such that they are not able to see these solutions. They they have lost sense of reality because their mental state has disabled them from seeing better solutions to their problem. And as a result, they make the choice to kill themselves. It was a delusional sense of reality that led to a bad decision.
Also, I don’t see how you can compare those who commit suicide with suicide bombers as though they are committing the same act or have the same intentions. Its not the same act, with the same intentions, and thus their mental states are not comparable.
(via ejiblabahaba-deactivated2012031)
I have no sympathy for people that commit suicide. In fact I find it disgusting when people call them heroes or brave or strong. They are weak and they are cowards, they stand for everything I am against. If you do it is the fault of the person that makes the decision to take their life and no one should be blamed but them. They fully understand what they are doing and they shouldn’t be painted as victims, they made the decision and if you cant handle that too fucking bad that is the reality of the situation.
now beyond that, nobody should kill themselves, because once you get to that point you are free. I am envious of you because you can do anything you want to. At the point of suicide you have nothing to lose so you can really do anything, you just need to recognize this and then you become truly free. This is why I have no sympathy, because you have all of the opportunity a person could wish for.
I understand how you feel, but you should try and consider a couple different perspectives to take on the matter. When someone makes a bad decision in life, is it considered their fault? Yes. People are not perfect, they can act irrationally at times based on false presumptions of misrepresentations of reality that can lead to bad decisions. Now consider the decision to commit suicide. In many scenarios, this can be considered a bad decision. A bad decision would be based upon a false sense of their reality and circumstances, that could have been fixed through other choices than that of suicide. It is still their choice, and thus the responsibility for the action is theirs, but why can’t empathy be had for the bad decision that can never be fixed? As much as it is their fault, had they not been so fixated in their deluded state they may have decided otherwise.
Have you never made a bad choice in life that you regretted? Because otherwise I don’t see why you can’t relate, however extreme the circumstance of suicide is.
(By the way, I am not suggesting that suicide is always a bad choice, but in many cases I would claim it is)